loneliness

My horse had her own kitten. The kitten was black and white. Her name was Megan. I only called her Megan when I was mad at her. I used to call her Morgan Mule. I called her Meg for short.

She had her own black and white kitten, and she got skunked. She must have thought it was her kitten.

She was running to me, because I had whistled for her. And she stopped dead in her tracks and wouldn’t move.

I walked down. I thought something had happened. And then I smelled her.

I guess I’ll start from the beginning. I always loved horses growing up.

When I was 17, I got a job. I saved my money and I bought one. She was 11 months old.

She didn’t know how to be a horse, and I didn’t know how to be a rider – we changed though.

Well, 15 years later, my mom was very sick. I worked 2 jobs trying to keep the horse, and keep the family together, because I had to cook and clean.

It broke my heart to have to sell that 15 years old, but I had no problem selling her.

I got $3000 for her and I paid $150.

In our home, whenever someone sits down to eat anything, someone else in the home sits down too, just to keep them company.

Not necessarily to make conversation, or eat something too, but just to be with them.

A long time ago, I worked with someone who came from Taiwan. We were talking about lunch, and he said, “People should not eat alone” – this was a deep and fervent part of his up-bringing.

I thrive being around people with imagination.

People who can see things that aren’t there yet and talk about them as if they are real right now. Like cars that fly, a practical end to hunger and healing sounds that work infinitely better than chemical drugs.

People who can create – pictures, music, dance, inventions.

People who can see the world in a better way.

Without these people, I feel lonely. Yes, my wife and children fill a kind of loneliness, for which I am very thankful.

I have found that I can be in a room full of people, and feel absolutely isolated and lonely. Perhaps this happens to you, too.

So, there is something more going on with loneliness than just needing to be around other humans.

Perhaps we are lonely for this, that, and the other.

When I take care of a garden, I feel that the flowers, vegetables, herbs, and all that grows out of the soil are my friends. So, I like visiting the Hartford Flower Show, the Bronx Gardens, and the Durham County Fair.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from
Ah the Beatles not to date myself
I remember their debut singing on the Ed Sullivan show
They kind of shocked me with their performance
Funny I can still remember that
I can have so many memories both good and bad
My memories can have a direct effect on my emotions and actions.
If I am feeling lonely do I consider
being with myself can be an amazing thing if
I can find peace and joy in the stillness of being alone.
Even if it isn’t quiet can I be in the quiet

Two four year old girls in my nursery school class were the best of friends. When one entered the room, the other would run to give her a big, welcoming hug. They managed to sit side-by-side throughout all activities and held hands when they walked around the room.

These girls were bright, creative and mature beyond their years. Every so often, something of interest would happen at home and they would turn this idea into a little two girl play.

These plays delighted me so much I’d stop what I was supposed to be doing and watch (from afar, of course).

We live on a quiet street. Each house is surrounded by a wooded acre. Our only excitement is watching small wild animals frolic in our yards.

On the first Saturday in December all that changes. The Community Center holds “The Jingle Bell Run.” The first year of the run, about thirty people participated and they were probably the committee members.

This year hundreds participated.

On the morning of the event, everyone registers at the Community Center and gets a number and a necklace of bells.

One of the key things that retired people have to do to maintain a healthy lifestyle is staying busy. Watching TV all day, every day, is a recipe for decay and decline. This is something that working people sometimes have difficulty understanding - because they have to be busy every day, it can be hard to grasp how important it is to remain occupied when work does not fill the day.

Listening to my Higher Self, El, I finally heard perhaps the most important truth of all.