Personal Story

It may seem a tricky or even daunting thing to calculate, what percent of my thoughts are positive, but for me, it is really quite simple.

The easiest way, is that I ask myself the question, and expect and wait for an answer,

The answer comes as a thought that appears, rather than figured out – I don’t make the thought, but rather it appears. And it happens very quickly, within 5 seconds.

I mentioned this once to someone, and he said that he’d never think of talking to his own mind.

I close my eyes and open my mind to a scene.

It is simple. The same person always appears. The person is near a tree. The person is dressed in a robe, standing. It could be Jesus, Buddha, or some master. But I like to think of the person as my higher self, the part of me that is still on the other side, and has access to great wisdom.

I’ll call the person “the master.”

I don’t speak. The master doesn’t speak. Yet I know the master knows what I need, and always gives me what I need. Something really happens. It isn’t pretend. It only takes 20 seconds.

Artwork by Bruce Zboray    www.bruce-zboray.artistwebsites.com


When I hear of people in need, whether family, friends, or someplace in the world, I imagine holding my hands open, palms facing away, with light, illumination pouring out.

Every cell of my body is generating this light, from within my trillions of molecules of DNA.

I offer illumination energy to whoever, whatever, wherever needs to use it in any way they want.

I love to hear the sound of trickling water.

I go to garden shops and stand in front of trickling fountains.

At the Beardsley Zoo, the greenhouse has Koi fish in a pond with trickling water.

We’d go to Saint Margaret’s Shrine. I was always drawn to the statues, and in particular to a large three tiered fountain with trickling water.

At our nearby park there is a small stream that cascades sparkling water over a small waterfall to a pond.

Once a year in the fall, my uncle would drive us to a place filled with all kinds of fresh apples. They were in hundreds of tall, round baskets. The place was called Aspetuck. It was an old farm stand, a large wooden room, like a barn, filled with apples everywhere.

The aroma of the apples was overwhelming, like a perfume made from all the different kinds of apples. We’d bring the aroma home with us. And they were beautiful to look at, too. The yellow leaves had fallen, and were falling, all around us. This is pure New England fall.

When our children were young, and we would go to a restaurant, we’d make pepper drawings while waiting for our food.

We would turn over the paper placemat, revealing a nice white piece of paper, and shake some pepper randomly on the paper. Then we would take turns connecting the dots.

It’s like the pepper held the essence of a picture that we slowly revealed to ourselves. They really enjoyed this, and so did I.

There’s just enough structure to prod you on, but ultimately, it is your own imagination that creates the picture. It’s really fun to see what emerges.

My daughter came running in the house, saying that she found fairy wings. She really wanted us to see, too.

Yes, there were 2 identical wings, silver, white, delicate – about the size of a young child’s finger. These wings could easily belong to a fairy.

I want to believe in fairy wings, and dogs that talk with their eyes – that there is a layer of enchantment cast everywhere, waiting to be discovered.

One day I was working on my mother’s finances with a calculator, with lots of detailed questions. I was thinking, “Why me? Why do I have to do this?” I took a deep breath, sighed, and just happened to look at the calculator.

There were the numbers 4444. I know I didn’t put that there. Any calculation like that, I would have remembered.

So, I googled what 4444 meant. It means, “The angels are with you.” Hmmm. Really interesting.

So, I started learning a little more about numerology, because it was being waved blatantly right in front of me.

I love to draw. And I love to paint even a little more.

There’s something so amazing about becoming immersed in an imaginary world – to create something inspired out of thin air.

Well, it’s really not something out of thin air in my experience, but rather playing with someone or something larger than me. You could call it higher self, God, or the Muse, but there is something there that I am working with -- no, playing with.

Someone once said that half of creating is just showing up. Every Sunday afternoon I either draw or paint. I show up.

Like most people, I appreciate lightning staying away from where I am.

Notice this is different than saying that I don’t like lightning I am fine with it, as long as it stays away from me.

One day I was reading a book: The Diary of Saint Faustina. In the Catholic Church she is noted for The Chaplet of Divine Mercy which Jesus gave to her. Her diary has many conversations with Jesus that she transcribed. Pope John knew her, and of her, and made the Sunday after Easter, Divine Mercy Sunday.